My patheti-sad little LJ, mostly about the chaos that is my life at the moment, but with some Icons, and other randomness, Fic and such. 

I went to see New Moon, at Midnight Thursday(technically Friday) and omg. Wow. So much better than Twilight. It was awesome. Amazing job. And hot damn. Jacob. Can we say Jail Bait? But damn! It did suck being in the very front row. but I sort of folded myself up in my seat and stared up in awe. Squee! Annoying fan girls in the theater were well, annoying though. And I did have a few giggle fits. I couldn't help myself. But there were just some parts that were giggle inducing. I will admit to snorting a few times, because I was trying to stifle my laughter.

Work is going well. I love my job. I really like Target. It is a fun place to work, everyone is so nice, so I am really hoping that they decide to keep me on after the Holiday season.

School is a stress right now, I love it, but I'm afraid of failing math. Because I just don't get math. I hate it, and I have trouble understanding it. I could go and try to get extra help, but I don't know if any extra help is actually going to help. I just don't get math. *sigh*

 Got a job gotta job gotta job! Woot! I am employed again, and looking forward to it. Hurrah for Target! 

School has been going pretty well too! 

yay for normality in life.

Really, like just being sick and feeling like hell wasn't enough? I lost my job! AGAIN! they freaking laid me off.

*sigh* I don't know how I'll pay bills now. Or for school. 

I am sick.

I am really sick.

I have one of the stupid women I work with to thank for this.

She insisted on coming to work with a fever.

Two days later, I was hacking up a lung. The next day at school could barely focus. I am sure I bombed on my essays and my math test. *sigh* 

Today... today. I have a fever. And a lack of a voice. I sound like a frog. Have been in close contact with my niece for the last few days. If she gets it there will be hell to pay. Especially if it happens to be the freaking swine flu. *screams* or at least, I would, but it more sounds like a *ribbit*

I cannot wait for Halloween. Though I probably won't have plans, as usual, I am dressing as Bellatrix. Heh. Heh. Lurve it. I bought a dress that I will make some alterations to, I have it all perfected in my head! Yippy!

Day one wasn't so interesting. It went on, nothing out of the ordinary. Met teachers, met some fellow classmates.

The only thing that I really had to say about this day, was Rolley. This woman, she came in, dragging her roller backpack, sat down front and center in my writing class, and quickly began situating herself. She pulls a bunch of stuff out of her bag, and arranges it and all. Then pulls out her perfume and spritzes herself down. I rolled my eyes, while it doesn't really bother me, with the perfume, it's rude. I just couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. She was also just so determined, I was amused.

Day two on the other hand... then it all begins.

I woke up this morning, coffee in hand, headed to class at 8 am. I got there early, because, well I'm just like that. First class of the day is my Expository Writing. Tuesday I sat in the second row in this one. But decided today I'd rather sit in the front. So, a few other people are there. I plopped myself down. I sat there for about ten minutes, setting myself up for class, and waiting. And in she comes. "You stole my seat!" She exclaims. I'm actually sitting in the seat next to the one she sat in on Tuesday. She then laughs, but I can tell she is actually annoyed that I'm there. She starts to sit down, I scooted over to give her room. But then declares she's moving to the next row back, to have more room. She moved back, class went on. We did our diagnostic essay. I left, and was heading down the street towards my car, and spotted her. I swear, she gave me a dirty look! Sheesh! As though there were no other seats in the front row. When she got there, there were three others. By the end of class, still two. She could have sat in the front row.

I had a two hour time between writing and my next class so I went and switched out my books, and headed back to the building. I was quite annoyed by the fact that I saw one of my ex's drive by, and stare at me. I snarled at him.

So to kill time I went back upstairs, and sat down in this little area that looks down into the first floor, where the snack bar is. I sat down, and started pulling out my notebook, just to write, or do whatever till my next class, since I had no actual homework.

This woman sits down(she had already been there, but had left for the rest room) and starts talking about watching people buying food, and how she likes to see what they pick. I smiled, and nodded, agreeing. And then she starts declaring wheat as a deadly food. As bad for you as MSG, kills brain cells and the like. It wasn't as though she were actually talking to me, she was declaring it for anyone and everyone. Practically yelling to the people downstairs, that their choice of a brownie, or perhaps, a sandwich, would kill them. There was a pause, she stopped talking for several minutes, and then she started again. Finally, all went calm. And then ... moments later, an obese woman arrives, with her three children, one who seemed himself, to be well on his way to becoming obese. All with large rice krispy treats in hand. This amused me, because I'm sure that Anti-Wheat lady just wanted to yell at them and tell them that those rice crispy treats were going to kill them.


My College Preparedness class was fun. I love my teacher. Math sucked. I was late, because of a class overlap, for the next month. Not okay with that. grrrrr

OMG. I will be in school in...4 days. *flails* OMG! I managed to get my books. Cashed in all my coins from a year and a half of waitressing. Was going to send me to Ireland, but that didn't work out so well. So, I decided that I would cash it in, and hopefully get a few hundred dollars to pay for books. Because it was going to cost me $230.

So I went to the bank, with my two bags of change. The guy guessed around 350. I said that would be awesome. So he goes away and is running my change through the loud machine, and I'm standing there playing with Rylynn. He walks back over, after one bag and tells me to guess. So I said I think two hundred. Nope. In the one bag, there was around 350 dollars. My jaw dropped. He goes back, does the other bag, comes back, tells me to guess again. So I said $610.

Wrong. $789. OMG! OMG! I have some money! I bought my books, paid Allii some rent. And still have some left over, to cover my payment for school. OMGOMGOMGOMG I had 800 dollars in change! *happy sigh* That was a huge relief.


I'm still freaked out about school. It has been years! 6 years, well technically 7, since I've been IN school. 6 since I graduated. Lame me, that took a few extra years to graduate high school. I'm so excited, and so anxious, and so terrified. I bought my book bag, and it is all full of stuff, pens and pencils, and a binder, paper, dividers, my stupid math book that cost me 150 dollars, but will get me through 3 terms.

Allii and I bought grabbable grocery items. Stuff for sandwiches, trail mix, and fruit. Heh, and I bought a big box of top ramen. Because I love top ramen.

Heh, I made a very cute picture of my niece, she is sitting between my nephews stuffed Spiderman, and Batman, so I edited it, and dressed her up as Superwoman, and then Wonder Woman. OMG. It's cute. She's so damn adorable. I figure in like 12 years, she'll be mortified. hah. hah. hah.

I feel a little silly for being so upset about this, but I am. I got a message on ezboard/yuku whatever the hell you want to call it today, from Sarah, the gal that runs electric candy, and she told me someone had contacted her, claiming I had plagerized a story and wanted all my stories removed from EC. Of course, the story was my own story, and simply under the name I went under when I originally started posting. But on Alien Blast, and for this I am lucky, the fic was posted under Zia, and then four days later, under Tab (my original pen name) But had it been posted under Tab originally, everything would have been deleted from EC. 

Of course, I make the assumption that someone is simply being vicious. Because that was an old fic, and quite crappy. Who just notices something like that? But it makes me angry. Of course, I'd be pissed if someone really had plagerized one of my stories, but really... who would? And why would I do it? I have enough lame ideas rolling around in my head to last me a life time.

Which also brings me to it being silly that I'm so upset for not getting feedback. It is just disappointing. I love to write. I would do it for a living if I was better at it. But I like to know that people are reading and enjoying. And if someone doesn't like what I write, I'll admit, it's a blow to the ego, and builds more onto the writers block. I still write what I want to write, but I do sometimes change something depending on peoples comments. I've gotten amazing ideas just from people commenting on a chapter.

I don't know. I really don't.

I love my job though. I had a great weekend, tiring, but it went well. Work tomorrow, then two days off. And then work until... Eep! Monday, then Tuesday school starts. Which... OHSHITOHSHITOOHSHIT! I am horrified.

I am really disappointed, that it seems as though no one reads my stuff anymore. Or at least if they do, I don't get any feedback. I would guess part of it is people stopped reading my stuff because I have been so horrible about updating lately. I don't think I'm a terrible writer, I'm not the best. But I think I'm okay. It just makes me sad. I posted a new chapter of a fic, and three people commented. Posted a new story, two people have commented, and one didn't like the story. *sigh* 

And no one reads any of my original stuff. I don't write fic for anything other than Roswell, well, I did a bit for True Blood, but again, stopped posting parts because of freaking writers block. 

It's such a disappointment, I thrive off of comments. I like when people analyze my stuff. I like knowing that people are READING my stuff. I can't even contribute it to the fact that Roswells been off for 7 years or so, and the fanbase is dwindling, it is, but the candy board is still pretty damn popular. Well some authors are anyways. *sigh* All of it makes me want to just stop writing, but as soon as I think about that, I get new plot ideas. *rolls eyes* 

So I was unemployed for about a day and a half. One of my bosses called me day before yesterday, and said that she had been going to see if I would work that night, but they were looking like they would be slow. And I'm just sitting there going 'okay...' really confused. And then she says 'we're bringing you back on' and I was SOOO happy. I worked last night, it was super busy! But really, I had like 11 tables. But it is insane, there are courses, and so many things to remember to bring out. We're all still trying to get the hang of it. And it being so busy. I was freaking out for a while last night, just going 'omgomgomgomgFUCK!omgomgomgomg' hehehe.

My boss that worked last night was doing the schedule, was asking when I could work, and I told him basically any time on Friday, sat, sun. I'd work all day if need be. So he asked if we could manage to take care of my 40 hours in those three days could I do it? I said 'YES!' because I've got 1000 dollars worth of tuition I've gotta pay. plus all my other bills. *happy sigh* I have my job again. yay! And I've gotta work tonight, woot.

aside from the horrifying interview process, especially group interviews. Finding one that you're actually qualified to do.

Well this morning while I was back and forth between my room I missed a call(not that I would have actually answered it anyways.) But it was from Macy's the department store I'd applied at, gotten an interview and was placed on their waiting list to get a job. They want to talk about availability, and I may have a job. I was debating. I want the job, because I need the hours. I'm only getting a few here and there at the restaurant. So I was debating on what to do.

Well, the decision was made for me. About ten minutes ago, my phone rang. It was the restaurant. I got laid off. *sigh* great. Fantastic.

I have to call Macy's back tomorrow morning, because she was already out of the office when I called today. Hopefully I'll have a job there. because damnit, I've worked myself back into panic mode. I'm not making hardly any money, I can't afford school let alone my bills.

I've been wanting to watch this movie for months. "Let The Right One In" it is a swedish vampire movie. Basically there is a little boy who is always getting picked on. Vampire girl moves in next door. Romance ensues, but so does blood and violence. I really am liking it. I like that it isn't these 'sexy' kids. And by sexy, I just mean attractive. I mean, they are cute, but they are average. Normal looking kids. My sis, her hubby, and my nephew went to a concert, so I came over to watch Rylynn. She was in bed within an hour, so I have movies! Really was surprised that I found it in Netflix instant play. Ew. She has a nasty tongue. Hah.

Work is good so far. I've only worked a few days, mostly morning shifts. Which is what I am used to. But I like it there, I like the people, and i've discovered that Korean food is freaking awesome. Japchae is wonderful. It's a sweet potato starch noodle.


I have to admit it... I watched Vampire Diaries last night. Because I really wanted to make fun of it. And lol I did. Some of it was okay, but mostly I just kept rolling my eyes at it. I may keep watching it, but only if I remember. which I won't, so I won't be watching it! :) 

LMAO Vampire kittehs! 'er well, Kittehs don't like vampires. That was quite hysterical for a moment there.

I have nothing really exciting to say at the moment. School starts in a few more weeks, I'm excited. Woot. But totally nervous at the same time.

It is amazing how relieved I feel. This huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and my mind. I'm no longer freaking out, anxiety attacks. Well, at the moment anyways. I finally found a job, and amazingly it is at the restaurant I'd been hoping for. It is a nicer, brand new restaurant. And I start tomorrow. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to go to school in the fall. That I wouldn't be able to afford it. So this morning I was looking to drop all my classes. Ready to put it off again. But then... a few hours later I got a phone call. And they wanted me to come in for a second interview. I had already given up hope. The restaurant opens in three days. I had no expectations that I would be hired.

But I went down there, met with two of the managers, who were so very nice, and friendly, I really hope this all works out. I start tomorrow. I bought the stuff for my uniform. White shirt, black skirt.

It's a wonderful thing to know that I won't have to worry about money. I'll be able to cover bills, and school, and still probably have money left over, since it is a higher end restaurant.

Woot! I have a job interview on Thursday at Macy's! I hope I hope I hope I get this job, because not having one is making me feel really anxious.

Last night my friend A and I went to the movies, to see The Time Traveler's Wife. So we got there, the movie was to start at 7:20. We had a good 5 minutes before the movie started. I asked for the tickets, because I had a gift certificate. So I get the tickets, my receipt, and my gift card back. In we went and over to the guy ripping the tickets, while I'm trying to juggle my purse, wallet, tickets, gift card. I handed the tickets to the guy, he told us theater 6. Then we went in, sat down. The previews had already started.   So we settled it, ready to watch. But then... when the movie started. Wait a sec! Something isn't right. Meryl Strep is NOT in the Time Traveler's Wife. We looked at each other, then got up and left. We were given tickets for Julie & Julia. Grr. How lame! lol. So we leave that theater, and ask where Time Traveler's Wife. We got settled in again, luckily found two seats together. The theater was packed. Watched the same previews again, and lol, this time, when the movie started we were in the RIGHT theather! Argh! 

OMG! Harry Potter was freaking AWESOME! lol. except for the fact that my ex was there, a few rows away. At least he stayed away.

And they totally cut out Tonks! Rat Freaking Bastards! My Nymphadora! But it was pretty spectacular! :) Loved it! Can't wait to see it again!

at True Blood Fic. Based on the books, spoilers from all of them will inevitablyshow up.

 

( Waking up Dead )

So when I started getting ready to enroll in school I filed for financial aid. Because I sure as hell can't afford to pay for school myself. Well, I got a letter yesterday. Denied. They won't give me any money. ... Wait, what?! I can apply for a loan that has to be paid back. or I can work and get 1000 dollars per term. Which, the 1000 dollars barely will cover my tuition.

I'm fucked.

I'm going to have to go in tomorrow and try to talk to them and see if there is anything that can be done. I'm trying not to get my hopes up.